I didn't mean to shout, just emphasize
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1. if you mean the gradient on the "selected" button, it's just an idea, if you want i can create a png for that.
The gradient on the buttons is from your screenshot.
2,3,5. For the past 6 weeks I'm working on a Mac most of the time (I work for the local Apple retailer) and I fell in love with the GUI of OSX.
From my point of view the way the dialogs are designed in this OS is the "right" way.
So this is what I tried to do in this little screenshot - without copying too much of the look of OSX, just taking 2 basic concepts for the "Basic" interface:
a. The design should be clean, every element that is not functional should be removed and every complex control should be downgraded to a simpler one.
b. Minimum amount of data in every screen and minimum global default size for the preference screens (hence the smaller size and the tabs).
4. I used Verdana, But it's from Photoshop so It might not look the same when it's live text.
BTW as you can see I gave the text a dark gray color instead of black, it makes it look more "embedded" in the overall look.